My Perspective on Perspective!

PERSPECTIVE

Perspective is an interesting concept. There are multiple meanings for the word itself, but I want to focus on the mental perspective of the word perspective. I'm talking about the thought process, the emotional view point, the justification we feel when we judge someone or something. Webster defines perspective as “the interrelation in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed (places the issues in proper perspective); the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance (trying to maintain my perspective).”

We've all heard the adage of seeing the glass half empty or half full. One person will be disappointed because the glass is only half empty. One will be optimistic because it's half full. This is where the story, and therefore the lesson, typically ends. We can be happy or sad, we can be thankful or angry, we can be victimized or energized, all by our perspective of a glass being half full or half empty. This is a very narrow perspective, in my perspective.

I have observed in my short life of over a half a century that a room full of people observing the same glass of water will always walk away with a room full of perspectives. That's what makes relationships so interesting! A husband and a wife arguing over the toothpaste tube will rehash the event differently later with their marriage counselor. Commentators on CNN and FOX News air their 'unbiased' perspectives after a presidential debate and sound totally different from each other. Adult siblings reminisce about a family vacation and all have a different perspective on whether it was a good or bad experience.

Let's say there are six random people, of the same age group, gender, tax bracket and religious orientation who are asked to wait in a room, with no idea why they are there or how long it will take. Since I'm the blogger here, we will have six middle aged, middle class, Protestant women summoned to the IRS office, (it is tax day after all!!) with no clear understanding of why they are there. They are just asked to sit at the table and wait.

First let's set the stage:

• Lucy's story: Lucy has cheated on her taxes for the last three years, claiming her cat Steven as a dependent . She is sure the IRS is coming after her. She hates the IRS.
• Mary's story: Mary does everything by the book. She's sure she has never done anything wrong on her taxes, but still she worries that she might have inadvertently done something wrong. She respects the IRS.
• Sue's story: Sue is sure that her soon to be ex-husband has done something stupid and she is being dragged into the middle of it. She fears the IRS.
• Kim's story: Kim has a deadline to meet in her office. She can't believe today of all days this had to happen. She is annoyed by the IRS.
• Sally's story: Sally's mother is failing. The hospital wants to talk to Sally about moving her to Hospice. Sally's not ready for her mother to leave her. She could care less about the IRS.
• Jane's story: Jane just came from Pilates, after attending morning Bible study. She is volunteering at the homeless shelter later and hopes this won't make her late. She tolerates IRS.

At first it is quiet, each smiling politely at the others, hoping they will be called in first and get out of there as soon as possible. After a few minutes, Mary, a cheery outgoing sort, asks if anyone else knows why they are there. Sue and Jane shake their heads and converse with Mary about it. Lucy, who is irritated already, tunes them out and taps her fingers on the table. Kim and Sally smile but don't engage. Time ticks on. The room is stuffy. Sally begins to fan herself with her pocketbook.

Finally, an official looking woman dressed in a black suit walks in, but instead of calling a name, she simply sets a half glass of water in the middle of the table and tells them someone will be with them shortly. She leaves.

How will each woman's current situation affect her perspective? What about her past experiences or her genetic disposition? From what you know about each woman, can you predict who is in the half empty crowd? You may be surprised. Time for some perspective!

• Lucy: 'Why did that woman leave a half empty glass of water at a table with six hot and thirsty women. Isn't it just like the IRS to waste time and money on something that isn't good for anyone!! If they weren't so greedy, I wouldn't have to cheat on my taxes in the first place. You can't trust the government. There's probably a spy device in the water allowing the IRS to hear what we are saying to use it against us.'
• Mary: 'That's odd. I wonder why she would leave a half full glass of water on the table. Maybe she is coming back with some fresh flowers to put in it. That would be nice. It would definitely cheer up this drab room. Even if she doesn't, it has given us something new to talk about!'
• Sue: 'I wonder why she put a half full glass of water on the table. It's not enough for six thirsty women. Maybe a glass of water in a room does something to make it less stuffy. I think I already feel a difference. I'll have to remember this trick. After I clobber my husband, that is!'
• Kim: 'Really? A half empty glass of water? We've been here over 30 minutes and she didn't even tell us how much longer it will be. If they don't hurry up I'm going to lose my job and then see how much tax money they can squeeze out of me!'
• Sally: 'Oh, how nice. I don't know what a half full glass of water will do for us, but it was very thoughtful. I wonder if anyone has given my mother a glass of water. I need to get to the hospital.'
• Jane: 'A half empty glass of water? That isn't enough to hydrate a snail. I'm going to take it before someone else does. I deserve it more than they do. It probably won't make any difference. I will still need 7 ½ more FULL glasses of water today. With all that I do to keep myself fit and to help others, I deserve better than this!'

It turns out Lucy and Mary are just who they appear to be. Lucy is angry and defensive on the outside as well as on the inside. Mary is cheery and engaging and truly sees the good in a situation. Our initial perspective was pretty accurate. But, do we really know the whole story for either of these women?

Sue is not happy with her current situation, but that doesn't mean she sees life as a whole in a negative light. Kim is seeing the glass half empty today because she is stressed out. But, do we know if she is normally a person with a positive outlook? Can we judge either of these woman by one day's perspective?

Sally appears sad, but she is still able to feel gratitude and concern for others. Jane appears on the outside to have it all together and to care about those less fortunate, but on the inside she is selfish and judgmental.

Now let's say the lady in black comes back in and hands each of them a $100 bill, thanks them for coming in and tells them they are free to leave. How do you think they will react, based on your new perspective? Who will complain because they will have to claim it on their taxes? Who will think it wasn't worth their time? Who will keep it a secret and spend it on themselves? Who will give it to someone less fortunate? Can we really know? Can half empty people be grateful? Can half full people be ungrateful? Did you recognize your own attitude in any of these women?

We've heard that first impressions are usually accurate, and maybe they are. But, that doesn't mean we shouldn't dig a little deeper before locking in on our perspective of someone else. We should never vote or appoint someone to a position of leadership or honor based on perspective only. We need to base it on true character and merit. Too often those who appear attractive and charismatic on the outside overshadow those with the most knowledge or most dedication on the inside. Some people actually have both, some have neither. If we don't look deeper than our initial perspective, we will probably nominate Kim for citizen of the year, and overlook Sally, who quietly gives from the heart with no regard for recognition.

Let's not narrow our perspective when it comes to human character. Let's expand it and test it, and start with ourselves!! In the Bible Jesus told us to take the plank out of our own eye before worrying about the little sliver in someone else's. Imagine how much more perspective our perspective could have if we just looked inward before we looked outward!!

And, that's my perspective on the matter!

My First Blog (For the Second Time!)

To blog, or not to blog? That is a question for these modern times. There is an array of social and cyber networks out there where we can say whatever it is we want to say with very little accountability for how we say it. We have 24/7 news and sports stations where dead air is avoided by allowing everyone who can fill a time slot to state their opinion . . . . about everything! There are blogs and posts and tweets and forums for anybody to spout off . . . about anything! The internet is filled with sites that portray so many of these sentiments as facts, making it difficult sometimes to actually come up with our own opinions!

Politicians and public figures go on television and on Twitter to state their views, believing their status in life somehow makes what they have to say valid. I don’t know about you, but I get tired of hearing them argue their personal opinions on FOX News, CNN, NBC, BBC, ABC and even ESPN! I want the news, I want the facts, and I want a little commentary.  But, I when I have to listen to everybody’s perspective about a tragic event, for instance, and hear them throw stones from their own glass houses, I start tuning them all out. I find that I no longer have as much empathy for the situation as I should have. Is that the price of opinion overkill?

Didn't anyone else grow up believing that we shouldn’t pop off about every little thought that comes into our heads? I for one still believe it’s prudent to ‘sleep on it’ or ‘count to ten’ before confronting an issue. What about the old adage of writing a letter and then waiting a day before we send it? If we still feel the same way after some time to cool off, then stick it in the mail. Chances are we end up realizing most of what we wrote was just emotion muddling up the actual point we wanted to make. We need to pick our battles. If we go off about everything, nobody will hear us when we really do have something to say.

Contemplation seems to be a long forgotten, but still very important, tool in communication. I strongly believe that when we need to stand up for what we believe in, or need to make a valid point, we should speak up. But, sometimes it’s better to hold our tongue (or our tweet or our post!) until we can say what we need to say without ‘putting our footeth in our moutheth’, or damaging a relationship (or a career!) beyond repair. In the Bible, the Book of Proverbs tells us that even a fool is thought wise if he doesn’t open his mouth!

That being said, welcome to my blog! LOL! I guess the world still has room for one more perspective, right? Many of you have told me you miss reading the things I used to post on Facebook, so I have decided to create this blog. That way those who want to read what I have to say can, and those who don’t want to don’t have to! Hopefully you will find some of what I write here to be thought provoking, and maybe even a little humorous, and always straight from my heart.  (Most likely it will leave you wondering what kind of voices I am hearing in my head!)

So, is there a point to my very first blog? Why, yes, there is, and thanks for asking! The world is full of endless commentary and opinions; some helpful, some hurtful and some just a waste of time! We each have the ability to take control of what we listen to and allow into our minds, and we should take control of what we say, or tweet, or post, or blog about what we have on our minds!

As we walk through this life together, remember that we are all entitled to our opinions, but that kindness should always govern the way we state them! We all should take to heart the lesson Thumper’s mother taught him: ‘If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all!’