TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #15 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #15 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY – NOT MY HARLEY, NOT MY BUTT HURT!

I'm at an age now where I realize how much time and energy I have put into making others happy above myself, or waiting for someone else to make me happy. It is my responsibility to be kind, loving, honest, dependable, etc, but it is not my responsibility to make sure everyone else is happy. Nor is it theirs to make me happy. We have to choose that for ourselves. I have too often confused self care with selfishness, and that just isn't true. If I don't take care of myself, no one else will. Having empathy does not mean you have to jump into someone else's drama pool. It means you show your love and support from a safe ledge and throw them a rope. If you jump in to save them then you both are stuck!! And, to be honest, some people don't really want out of the pool! You can't be responsible for everything and everybody! In fact, you can actually be doing others a disservice if you take over their responsibility. You will never be able to 'Let Go and Just Ride' in your own life if you continue to chain yourself to other people's problems. Again, this doesn't mean we don't care, or we don't want to be involved, it just means we need to do it from a healthy perspective. Sometimes we just need to look in the mirror and say to ourselves, “NOT MY HARLEY, NOT MY BUTT HURT!”, and remember we are more help to the people we love if we are taking care of ourselves! This is a life lesson I may never master, but I hope to get better at!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #14 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #14 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY – IN THE END YOU STILL HAVE TO GO BACK TO REAL LIFE!

If you stay in the fantasy for too long, it becomes reality. And any reality will always have it's own challenges. So, go home! Just make sure you bring that sense of adventure back with you. If you really aren't happy about returning home, maybe it's time to make some changes. But, don't go looking for greener pastures somewhere else before first trying to get the right fertilizer for your own yard!!! Chances are, if you are unhappy there, you will eventually be unhappy somewhere else anyway! (Even if it is on the back of a Harley!) Home (including work, friends church, whatever) should be the place where we feel safe, loved, fulfilled, needed, appreciated. But if that is not what you are riding back to, it's time to ask yourself what needs to change. Remember, we can only change ourselves, we can't change someone else. If things aren't the way we want them to be, what can we do to make them better? If our happiness depends on someone or something else meeting our expectations, we've given away our own control. It won't be any different if we move onto greener pastures! We will just be sticking our same stinky feet into the new yard and will soon have brown grass like we had before!! If, after careful evaluation, and making personal changes where needed, we decide it's time to move on (from a relationship, a neighborhood, a job, etc.),we should do so without feeling guilty. Just keep in mind,moving on doesn't change us unless we've changed first! It's still our own face we will see in the mirror! But, hopefully, like Dorothy, we will discover that there really is no place like home!

(It would be even better with a Cracker Barrel rocker!!!)

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #13 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #13 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY – CHECK OUT THE VIEW FROM ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE; MOUNTAINS FOR INSTANCE!

I don't know why I never paid attention to the fact that you can see the Cascade Mountain peaks from the east side of the state. I guess I thought they just belonged to those of us living on the west side! I grew up with three important mountains in my life; St. Helens, Rainier, and Adams. I see Mt. Hood occasionally when I go south, but in my mind it belongs to Oregon. I've only seen Mt. Baker a couple of times, so I have no emotional attachment there. Since I am from Toutle, to me St. Helens is 'THE' mountain. My husband learned early on not to say 'Hey, look at the mountain' referring to Mt. Rainier because I would correct him by saying, 'That's Mt. Rainier. St. Helens is THE mountain!' From Cowlitz and Lewis Counties you can easily see St. Helens on your right and Rainier on your left, but even from the best vantage point you have to look a bit harder to see the top of Mt. Adams. But as we rode through the Yakima Valley coming home from our long trip, I realized the big mountain looming near us was Adams. Even though I have great childhood memories of family outings to Mt. Adams, it is still a small, elusive mountain in my life. But it's a big mountain to those living in Yakima. And even though THE mountain (St. Helens) is the most significant to me, I didn't even know where to look for it from there. We all need to stop and remember that everyone sees the same mountains we do, we just see them differently. For example, Mt. Rainier is a towering beautiful monument in most of the Northwest, but for me growing up it was the funny mountain with two humps that looked like boobs! So, before we pass judgment on someone else's opinions, (yes even religious or political!), we should at least check out the view from their perspective! It doesn't mean we have to change ours, but it might give us some understanding as to why they see it the way they do. Like I said, we all see the same mountains, we just see them differently!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #12 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #12 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY – YOU WILL END UP WITH EXCESS BAGGAGE!

In the mornings we wore layers to keep us warm, but as the day progressed, we started shedding the things we no longer needed. Problem was, we had nowhere to put them. The saddle bags were already full! So we shoved sweatshirts down inside the handlebars and bungeed coats over the duffel bags .It was kind of annoying. After a couple of days of this I decided to tie both of our sweatshirts around my waist to get them out of the way. As I situated them under me on the seat I realized they actually made great butt cushions. But when the temperature shot up over 100 degrees, those darn sweatshirts got really hot wrapped around me. Annoying again! So I tried tying them to the sissy bar instead. I discovered by doing this they were each folded in half under me and I now had twice the butt cushion! Instead of staying frustrated about what to do with all that excess baggage, I found a way to use it to bring comfort to my current butt hurt! In life we tend to have baggage we don't know what to do with. Sometimes we just want it out of our way, and sometimes we want to hide it so no one knows we ever had it in the first place! But those things are part of our journey, part of what got us to where we are. We can get angry because they take up space and we may want to just throw them away. But,keep in mind, the now excess baggage also includes the lessons we've learned along the way. and the memories, and even some good things that came out of them. We can't erase the past anyway, so why not find a way to use it for good? A little reflection and application of lessons learned may ease some of our future butt hurt! And maybe, if we are willing to share our experiences, we could bring comfort to someone else's butt hurt as well.

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #11 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON # 11 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY – IF THE CORNERS START TO FEEL TOO TIGHT JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND ENJOY THE RIDE!

Old fears, inhibitions, addictions, unforgiveness, negativity and other annoying things we have chosen to overcome are rarely completely gone. They like to resurface at inconvenient times just to remind us they are still there. They keep knocking at the door hoping we will finally give in and let them back in control. Sometimes they wake us up in the morning trying to be the first thought in our head. They can be persistent little nemeses! We have to turn them away and refuse to let them get a foothold again. Sometimes they back off for awhile, but hover and wait to hit us when they think we are weak. That doesn't mean we are weak or that we haven't conquered them. It just means we have to keep watch at the gates of our hearts. We need to keep our faith and our support systems in place. And if they ever do succeed in creeping in, we need to kick them right back out and not let them make us believe they are in charge! Don't let them set up house! A couple of weeks into our ride I started to tense up again on a windy road, thinking about all the things that could happen, and I didn't like it!! So I closed my eyes and let the wind blow in my face, and soon felt myself flowing right through the tight corners. It worked! I didn't let those old fears steal my newfound joy! It's not always that easy in real life, I know, but we still have to choose not to give into the old things that held us back. If you start feeling the old urge to resist the lean, just close your eyes (shut out the noise in your head!) and enjoy the ride! And, if the ipod you are sharing happens to be playing AC/DC, then shut your eyes, enjoy the ride, and HOLD ON TIGHT!!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #10 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #10 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY – A WRONG TURN JUST MEANS A NEW ADVENTURE!!

We all make wrong turns now and then. Sometimes it is because of poor planning, sometimes it just happens. Sure, it would be quicker and easier if we went straight from point A to point B, but then what would we have to talk about?? The best stories are almost always about the wrong turns! We made a couple (few!) wrong turns on our cross country trip. One saved us time, but another added a whole lot of miles to our journey! Instead of Kansas we ended up in Texas! We could have backtracked when we realized we were off course, but we decided to keep going and plan a new route. We didn't get mad or quit having fun, we just laughed about it and moved on. In the process, I was able to cross Oklahoma off my list of states I've never been in! Later that evening I found out there was a tornado in Kansas. We probably wouldn't have made it to the vicinity on our original route, but I would have totally freaked out knowing we were that close!!! Watching the news from Texas suddenly felt a whole lot better!! And, we still made it to Arkansas on time! Who knows, maybe some wrong turns may actually be our guardian angels giving us a big shove out of the way. We never know what we might have been saved from. Just like all who wander are not lost, maybe all that take wrong turns aren't on the wrong path?? So, give thanks for where you are, quit trying to find your way back to where you were, and start blazing a new trail forward. Then have a good laugh when you tell the story later!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #9 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #9 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY – GOOD FRIENDS HELP YOU SEE YOUR PATH MORE CLEARLY!

Surround yourself with people who love you and care about you, people who lift you up and don't tear you down. And be that kind of person to those who have included you into their lives! Good friends laugh with you when you laugh, cry with you when you cry, and hold you accountable when you need to be held accountable. A good friend will even get up at 6:00 in the morning to see you off, and isn't afraid to clean away a little grime to help you see your path more clearly! Friendships may include old friends and new friends, siblings, parents, or other family members. And, hopefully, if you are married, your spouse is your best friend of all! So, if you have been blessed with a friend, or with many friends, make sure to treasure them!

“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Prov. 18:24

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #8 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #8 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY – DEAD SKUNKS AND COW POO SMELL REALLY BAD!

Even the best things in life have a price tag. On a motorcycle the sun is hotter, the rain is wetter, and the smells are smellier. But if it is something you love, you don't mind paying the price! We tend to fill our lives with 'fun' stuff in the guise of making us feel complete. But is the price tag bringing more stress than happiness? Does it feel a lot more like paying taxes than membership dues? Maybe it's time to reevaluate our 'fun'. Do we really love it? Do we really want it? Do we have it just because everyone else has it? Do we do it just because someone else expects it of us? Quit paying taxes on your 'fun' and start putting your time, energy, money, etc into what actually makes you and your loved ones happy! If the 'fun' is straining the budget or making you cranky, chances are your family isn't having all that much fun with you anyway!! Keep this in mind; if you really are enjoying yourself everyone should be able to see it on your face!!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #7 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #7 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY – BEING REMINDED THAT LIFE IS FRAGILE KEEPS COMMUNICATION LINES WITH GOD OPEN!

It's easy to get complacent and take life for granted. We get in our cars everyday and drive off in them without much thought of the danger. We eat our Big Macs without much thought of the cholesterol. We live in the Cascadia Subduction Zone without much thought of the 'Big One'. We feel safe, invincible. We forget we need to pray for guidance and protection every single day. But on a motorcycle you are alert, you pay attention. You pray that an animal (even a little one!) doesn't jump out in front of you, or that a rock (even a little one!) doesn't roll down the hill. You pray that the afternoon wind out on the plains doesn't blow you into the next lane. You pray that other drivers pay attention, that tires don't unravel on the 18-wheeler next to you, that bees don't hit you and sting you, that the pavement is smooth, that rocks don't fly up from truck tires, etc. etc. etc. It's not riding scared, it's keeping God close while you ride! It's not about living in fear or taking unnecessary risks to test His protection, it's about not taking it for granted. It's good to step out of our comfort zones once in awhile into a place where we remember to communicate with God all the time, not just when we need something. (Pray without ceasing???) And riding in the open air experiencing His creation up front and personal reminds us of how big He really is! 

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #6 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #6 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY - SOMEBODY IS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE BETTER TOYS THAN YOURS!

We didn't have a Road King or touring bike. I didn't have a big comfy seat with arm rests and speakers and a cooler next to me I could reach in and grab beverages out of! We didn't even have a cup holder! We didn't have blue tooth, but we did have an old iPod with a splitter we plugged ear buds into! And it was awesome!! I could have looked around and thought I was missing out because I didn't have what someone else parked next to me had. But I was still on a frickin' Harley!!! Maybe the next long trip will have a few more bells and whistles, but there wasn't a thing wrong with what we did have. It's okay to make plans for an upgrade when you can, but don't let that stop you from enjoying what you have in the moment! Keep in mind, you will probably never go back to camping in a tent once you get that camper, and you will never go back to a camper once you have an RV with a TV and a freezer and air conditioning and a memory form mattress. And chances are you wont go back to the RV when you decide motels are the way to vacation. But don't you remember how much fun you had in that tent?? Even when it rained and the air went out of your mattress? I will have amazing memories from this trip, sore butt and all! I wouldn't change a thing! So quit looking around at what you don't have and start enjoying the heck out of what you do have. And keep in mind, while you are envying someone else's toys, there are a whole lot of people out there wishing they had just a little of what you have inside your toy box!!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #5 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #5 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY - YOU ARE GOING TO GET BUTT HURT!!!

It's a given. If you travel very far at all you are going to get butt hurt!!You start your journey all excited and the first hundred or so miles go by easily. But by 300 miles you are really feeling the butt hurt. After 400 miles you don't believe you will make your goal of 500 miles that day. You can focus on your butt hurt and feel sorry for yourself because you are butt hurt. You can be angry and blame someone else because of your butt hurt. But you know what? That doesn't make the butt hurt go away! The more you focus on being butt hurt, the more unbearable it gets. And soon it becomes the only thing you notice and you miss the really cool stuff passing you by. Choosing to focus on the beauty and blessings around you tends to make the butt hurt less noticeable. Just keep your destination in mind; The short one (you can make it 30 more miles to the next little town!), the medium one (there's a hotel shower and bed waiting for me!), and the ultimate one (my grandbabies are just 3 more days away!). Taking a break from the butt hurt helps, but then get back on. Take another break, but keep on going. And when you get up the next morning, you get to start all over knowing butt hurt will happen again, but hopefully the joy of your journey will far outweigh the butt hurt!! What's waiting for you at the end of the trail? Don't let butt hurt keep you from finishing the race, and don't let the fear of butt hurt keep you from starting the race al all!! Jesus tells us that In this life we will have trouble (butt hurt!) but take heart, he has overcome the butt hurt!! And what He has waiting for us at the end of our ultimate road trip is way more awesome than any butt hurt we've endured along the way!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #4 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #4 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY - THE INTERSTATE IS FOR WHEN YOU HAVE TO BE SOMEWHERE, BACKROADS ARE FOR WHEN YOU GET TO GO SOMEWHERE!!

On the interstate everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere. On the backroads people ask where you are from and where you are going. (Sturgis?) On the interstate almost every exit looks the same all the way across the country! On the backroads you don't see Walmart or McDonalds. On the backroads you get your coffee from a real waitress in a little diner instead of lined up on a counter at Starbucks. On the backroads you can see cowboys saddling up at 6:30 in the morning ready to start their day. You can ride beside rivers you can almost reach out and touch. On the backroads you can stop and smell the roses, have a picnic lunch, take a selfie with actual scenery in the background. On the backroads you still get to where you are going, you just create memories on the way. You notice other people and they notice you. Sure, there are times in life that we really do have to be somewhere. It's prudent to get from point A to B in the most efficient manner. But we don't have to live in the fast lane all the time! Maybe it's time to slow down a bit and just enjoy getting to go somewhere for a change!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #3 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #3 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY - IF YOU DON'T NEED IT DON'T PACK IT!!

We easily become like fish in a tank. The bigger the tank, the bigger we grow, the more stuff we get, the more things we think we can't live without. Sometimes it's good to realize we can get by with a whole lot less than we thought. Just a handful of makeup (yes really!), no hair straightener, no blow dryer, no laptop, 1 extra pair of shoes and a couple changes of clothes for 3 weeks! Choices are simpler when you only have a few! And less stressful! So leave all the stuff you don't need behind; like guilt, regret, unforgiveness, bitterness, pride, insecurities, doubt, fear, anger, strife . . . . (oh, and the apple slicer and cribbage board you didn't use! Who packs an apple slicer on a motorcycle trip anyway?!) Then you will have more room to add on some really cool stuff you just might discover on your journey; like joy, laughter, faith, hope, forgiveness, love, gratefulness, empathy, amazement, wonder, etc. etc. etc. Don't let all that negative stuff take up room in your saddle bags! Fill them with things you love. And, if you run out of room, just get more bungee cords!!!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #2 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #2 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY -SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO JUMP ON AND RIDE!!!

If you wait for the right time to plan every single detail, or wait until you have all your ducks in a row first, you may never jump on and ride out your dream, whatever that may be!! Face it, the 'right time' can be very illusive, and those darn ducks keep getting out of line! But the clock keeps on ticking and the years pass by way too quickly. Be wise, be practical, but don't be afraid to jump sometimes and just see what happens! Have a crazy adventure. You won't regret it!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #1 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY!

TANYA'S LIFE LESSON #1 LEARNED ON THE BACK OF A HARLEY: QUIT TRYING TO BE IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME! LET GO AND JUST RIDE!

I have worn myself out trying to keep everything in control; my job, my family, my marriage, my finances . . . and you know what? Shit still happens! I know I have serious trust issues. I couldn't even relax enough in my adult years to ride on a motorcycle because I was always anticipating the corners, resisting the lean. When I finally tried it again, just a couple of months ago,I chose not to look ahead to the corners and discovered I would just naturally flow through them. I felt free and happy for the first time in a very long time, once I relaxed and let go of being in control. Then I heard a still small voice ask, 'If you can trust a mere mortal (my ex husband no less!) with your life,and if you can quit trying to look around him to worry about what's coming up next, why can't you trust Me on the ultimate ride of your life? I'm the One who loves you unconditionally and who always has your very best in mind. And I can never fail!' So, ya, I guess it's time to let go and just ride behind God for a change and not worry all the time about what's ahead. He already knows and He doesn't need my help with the corners! He just needs me to trust Him and to quit resisting the lean!!